Monday, February 21, 2011

Coming Soon to Miami: Do U Wanna Ride + Playlist

On the beach last night, I saw the new millenium in the form of rental bikes. I imagine we'll find a way to fuck it up for the bikes to become vandalized, but let's keep our fingers crossed.


We're Rolling On: Impressions

Let Me Ride: Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg

Free Ride: Illinois Speed Press

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thing Fall Apart-Volume 1

Ever since Rick Scott became governor, things have begun to fall apart. Although he made enormous promises, and has an illustrious history with finances, it has been nearly 2 months, and things have not gotten better in any way. Despite the glory of Scott’s coronation inauguration, which only cost $3 million, nothing compared to the $73 million he spent to get elected, and even less compared to the $219 million he is worth, things have begun to crumble in Miami, and I have the photos to prove it. 

Certainly, with a tiny bit of cutting, like closing schools where freeloading children and teachers waste hard earned private sector cash, or raiding wasteful public pension funds like great governors like the one in Wisconsin, Scott could begin to repair things like that pictured above. (I have a handyman who could do it in two hours for about $79, but I hesitate to share his digits.)  

In any case, Rick Scott's star has obviously faded, and it is increasingly clear that he is just another plastic, phony politician making promises he cannot keep. 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

SMA Miami/Strip Mall Aesthetics 101

Few citizens of an urban metropolis are as fortunate as we in Miami when it comes to the creation and design of a beautiful place like the strip mall. Sunset Drive is no exception, particularly well-endowed with lovely edifices and cutting edge design.
With this in mind, we would like to introduce you to a new feature: Strip Mall Aesthetics Miami (SMA Miami)
Congratulations to Sunset Strip Plaza, anchored by Presidente Supermarket #22 and Family Dollar for earning 0 spaces.

The key to appreciating the quality of the strip mall being discussed may be found in this analysis. Several factors are important:
  1. size and number of puddles in the lot
  2. nausea creating traffic
  3. vacancies
  4. symmetry
  5. signage variety
  6. parking harmony
  7. multicultural appeal
With this in mind, here is the key:
  • 0 spaces available -- top shelf 
  • 1 space available -- needs something
  • 2 spaces available -- needs more than a little help
  • 3 spaces available -- fender bender paradise
  • 4 spaces available -- wrecking ball ready

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Seventet of Magnificent Miami Experiences

1. 6:30am Biking to Breakfast at Coral Bagels.
2. 9:00am First Customer in the door at Books and Books.
3. 11:00am Coffee and pastelito at Versailles.
4. 12:30pm Glass of Wine and Pami at Happy Wine.
5. 2:30pm A cold beer at Scotty's.
6. 4:00pm Smoothie at the Wayside Market.
7. 6:11pm Enjoy the sunset with Hector and his parents fishing at Deering.

total distance- 40 miles; total cost- $40; amount of snow encountered- 0 inches.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Sextet of Miserable Miami Experiences

  1. Getting awakened by your neighbors' lawn crew's string trimmer before 8:30
  2. Talking to your formerly unionized, government pensioned, retired neighbors who hate unions and government 
  3. Five cars turning left as a light turns red and you are in West Kendall
  4. Seeing housekeepers getting on the bus during a thunderstorm near Old Cutler mansions
  5. Having to enter any Winn Dixie
  6. Waiting for workers who routinely fail to keep appointments or even show up 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wednesday History Lesson - 4 Mangos and 3 Avocados

Farmers'/Farmer's/Farmers Markets are all the rage. However, we haven't discovered America there Columbuses. Fresh fruit, off the tree, shrub or bush and into your mouth, was the norm not the exception for a lot of folks here in the nature's tropical farmer's market of South Florida. So pick something off a tree and eat it, although you should consult your wild produce guides first. You do have one don't you?

Dorn Brothers Company 1914 - The Original Pinecrest Farmers' Market - Not the exact same location and selection, but it's been local and delicious for a while.

Dorn Building Today - Corner Sunset and US1

The Dorn Brothers had a long history of improvement in South Florida. 

In 1925, they opened the Riviera Theater in Larkin Florida. A year later Larkin was incorporated as the town and then city of South Miami.

Riviera Theater (1925) - 5700 South Dixie HighwayYou know that spot today as Sunset Place.

Of course the best selection of farmers' marketable stuff today is going down at Pinecrest Gardens. Ride your bike and catch a glimpse of Big Time Jones, live.

Blooming Undercover in Winter

Tuesday, February 8, 2011