Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Take Your Rulers Out!

I'm not exactly sure what these guys are measuring but I'm gonna keep the pictures to a minimum.

Miami Lakes councilmen in bathroom squabble

Dropping the F-bomb and threats to "take it outside" may sound like the start of a schoolyard brawl.

But this squabble involved two Miami Lakes politicians and happened in the bathroom during a break in the Tuesday night council meeting.

Both elected officials — Councilman Richard Pulido and Vice Mayor Nick Perdomo — claim the other made physical threats laced with cuss words.

Pulido said Perdomo threatened to beat him up while he was washing his hands. Perdomo also claims Pulido threatened him with a thrashing in the men's room.

According to Pulido, his colleague on the dais lost his cool because he felt Pulido had slighted him during the Tuesday meeting to discuss a development deal on Northwest 87th Avenue.

After the meeting, the councilmen were still taking verbal swipes.

"We’re not thugs. We should act like public officials. We’re not conducting business like we’re in a third-world country," Pulido told the Herald.

Perdomo — who runs a family cigar business with operations in Nicaragua — said Pulido started it. FUll story from The Herald's Laura Isensee here. The more reputable New Times here.

And he just keeps going...

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The HEAT Is On

Fifteen minutes into Mike Bibby's new tenure as a member of The Team the Lord Destined to Win the Crusade called the NBA title the HEAT, the front office began to panic calm the nerves of all those who eat and sleep HEAT. Rumor has it that Bibby missed a shot. Sports radio stations got a Tweet from somebody who was watching from the custodial team a member of the front office, who insisted that the HEATwere not tendering offers to Rick Barry, Reggie Miller, Oscar Robertson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, and that dude who made the deal with the Devil in a number of Hollywood films.

Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Retard Le Batard reported that Bibby had been signed because he was dedicated to earning a ring, and that he would be a fine replacement compliment for Mike Miller, Undonis Haslem, Eddie House, Zydrunus Ilgauskas, James Posey, Mario Chalmers Chris Bosh, Lebron James, and Dwyane Wade.

Rumors swirled about whether to bring back Don Shula, Jimmy Johnson, Howard Schnellenberger, Shakey Rodriguez Pat Riley, but in the meantime, the entire Western sports world continued to place the blame onus of responsibility on scapegoat Coach Eric Spoelstra and Randy Shannon, Barack Obama, or public school teachers.

Meanwhile, the NBA was putting its finishing touches on another NBA Cares commercial featuring Carlos Arroyo when the HEAT mercilessly blamed him too placed the well-respected veteran on waivers. Fans of the HEAT pray expect that the Bibby move will propel them to 70 victories 60victories the playoffs this year. Season ticket holders hope he turns his hat around is just the spark that the team needs. or they will call talk radio and act like Qaddafi or Michele Bachmann.

Ownership plans to give all Overtown children who have no absences from school and elementary school AP level classes free nosebleed level obstructed view tickets to a Sacramento Kings game, plus free salt and pepper for all nacho orders with a Winner's Circle certificate.