The HEAT Is On

Fifteen minutes into Mike Bibby's new tenure as a member of The Team the Lord Destined to Win the Crusade called the NBA title the HEAT, the front office began to panic calm the nerves of all those who eat and sleep HEAT. Rumor has it that Bibby missed a shot. Sports radio stations got a Tweet from somebody who was watching from the custodial team a member of the front office, who insisted that the HEATwere not tendering offers to Rick Barry, Reggie Miller, Oscar Robertson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, and that dude who made the deal with the Devil in a number of Hollywood films.

Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Retard Le Batard reported that Bibby had been signed because he was dedicated to earning a ring, and that he would be a fine replacement compliment for Mike Miller, Undonis Haslem, Eddie House, Zydrunus Ilgauskas, James Posey, Mario Chalmers Chris Bosh, Lebron James, and Dwyane Wade.

Rumors swirled about whether to bring back Don Shula, Jimmy Johnson, Howard Schnellenberger, Shakey Rodriguez Pat Riley, but in the meantime, the entire Western sports world continued to place the blame onus of responsibility on scapegoat Coach Eric Spoelstra and Randy Shannon, Barack Obama, or public school teachers.

Meanwhile, the NBA was putting its finishing touches on another NBA Cares commercial featuring Carlos Arroyo when the HEAT mercilessly blamed him too placed the well-respected veteran on waivers. Fans of the HEAT pray expect that the Bibby move will propel them to 70 victories 60victories the playoffs this year. Season ticket holders hope he turns his hat around is just the spark that the team needs. or they will call talk radio and act like Qaddafi or Michele Bachmann.

Ownership plans to give all Overtown children who have no absences from school and elementary school AP level classes free nosebleed level obstructed view tickets to a Sacramento Kings game, plus free salt and pepper for all nacho orders with a Winner's Circle certificate.